Category Archives: Personal

Reflections

There is a beginning and end to all things.  Some things obviously last much longer while others flash out in a blink of an eye.  Duration of any one event is largely out of our control.  Constant things become temporary and the illusion of the permanent is quickly shattered.

Within the last few weeks this has been reminded to me.  My brother-in-law Andrew was killed in a car crash.  It was tragic and the entire family has had a very difficult time accepting that he is gone.  It does not seem to become any more real as the days roll by.  

The transition to acceptance is a difficult thing.  Change is always impending itself upon us in one form or another.  The more we resist, the harder it pushes back.  It is almost as if things would be so much easier to just to relax and flow with the current.

This is true of the current economic crisis as well.  It has come and everyone has reacted to it in a number of ways.  Perhaps the most common is either full panic or complete denial.  Either way is unhealthy.  In some ways, the extreme reactions only lead to the situation worsening.

It is fair to say that no government injections are going to prevent what is going to happen.  For whatever they inject the people are bound to hoard.  Fear and denial (or blatant optimism) do not mix well.  Oil and water really.

The most logical course has no emotion at all.  Thinking with a clear head can allow the impossible to happen.  When everyone is busy hiding and waiting for the sky to fall, companies can still be successful and thrive.  When some people only see dark clouds, others see the benefits of the coming changes.

The gloom and doom predicted upon the world only shows half of the story.  The true meaning of life does not include hiding from that which opposes it.  It takes real courage to do what is needed at the time it is needed.

In the darkest hours, those that stand tall and understand the power of their own being will see that it isn’t just about helping yourself but helping each other.  It could not be any simpler than that.

To that end, companies that usually compete should be looking to work together.  Companies that are thinking of cutting back should instead find ways to invest in the future.  We are all in this together and there is no reason why we cannot do what we are always destined to do.

It is time to get out of the muck of selfishness and fear and start opening up and asking what can be done for someone else.  The world does not need more rich unhappy people.  It needs people that understanding there is more to life than trying to buy something that is never going to make them happy.

The greatest hope comes from within.  You only need yourself and the faith that life is good and that it is worth living it well.   Once you deal with your own demons, the rest is much easier.  Sometimes it is as simple as listening to what you say and deciding that maybe nothing needed to be said.  With that in mind, it is a good place to stop.

Long Way Home

The title is in reference to “Take the Long Way Home” by Supertramp. This song is part of the classic album “Breakfast in America“. There is something incredibly nostalgic about this song. It has all of these images coming forward based on the words. It sounds very autobiographical based on touring with the band.

Breakfast in America cover

I’ve been completely nostalgic about the old days at Citrix going on with fifty some odd posts about Citrix history. There is one thing that you must realize about being nostalgic. There is no way “home”. Those idealized places and times simply do not exist anymore. It is far better to focus on living in the present and realize that the current moment is really all you really have.

If home is now that home is also very near. I’m rambling a bit but it is very difficult to fully believe this is true. The more you focus on what is currently happening the more likely you will give it your full attention and your best actions. I could say that I’ve read a few books about this (which is true) but if you think about, it really is just common sense. If you are thinking solely from the point of reference of what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, you are most likely missing what is happening today. If you work at this enough, it is possible to fully live in the moment AND be able to handle any situation as if you were a natural.

A fictional example I will give is based on the character Neo towards the end of the first Matrix film. When Agent Smith killed Neo, Neo was transformed. Not only did he come back to life, but he also knew instantly, without caring, how to handle Agent Smith and dispatch him. His actions speak of living in the moment and being able to exist beyond the realm of knowledge alone.

Alright, I sense I’ve lost some people there. I’m not really trying to confuse you. I’m just trying to explain things from a slightly different perspective.

If you are connected to the moment and all things around you, you can actually comprehend and participate in ways that go far beyond what humans usually experience. It is almost like a transcendence of individual life to feel the harmony of many lives living in a unified experience. That, by the way, is the conclusion of most people that have seen this perspective. It is hard to see things as not being connected.

If you consider something to be truly separated from yourself than most likely you don’t see the connections. If you do not see the connections you will not realize that actions will affect these connections. If these actions are negative or otherwise uninspired, most likely the division and separation will grow. As a result of this splitting and growing distance, the mind will further see proof of separation. The cycle will continue.

If, however, you see things as connected and working together, your thoughts will bring things together. Things will get easier and thoughts will become more common. You will see things more clearly and you will be able to see things from many different perspectives. This ultimately will result in a kind of critical mass that would be similar to an implosion. Not physically but more mentally.

If you got this far, you must have a fairly open mind :) . I know it really isn’t the place for a research engineer to ponder such matters… or at least not yet. Thanks for being so understanding and allow me these thoughts.

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Nerds Unite

From a previous post I mentioned that there were two famous films that were made in places that I had lived. The first film was “Groundhog Day” which was filmed in Woodstock, Illinois. The second film is “Revenge of the Nerds” which was filmed at the University of Arizona in Tucson, Arizona. Unlike “Groundhog Day” which was filmed in the early 90s, I was actually at the university when “Revenge of the Nerds” was made in 1984.

Revenge of the Nerds poster

The student body was quite excited about this film being made due the the opportunity of actually being in it as extras. A guy down the hall from me in the dorm not only got to be in the movie but also managed to tell a short joke towards the end. The movie crew transformed sections of the campus to look like Adams College and used many existing university buildings to host the scenes.

U of A
Towards the beginning of the movie, the fraternity brothers accidentally burn down their house. They manage to get permission to move into a dorm nearby. In doing so, they actually throw out the freshman living there (including the nerds). One freshman was unfortunate enough to be thrown out a front window. I saw part of this filming when walking to class. Later that night I went back to look under the window to see if there was any sugar glass left. There were some pieces there and I picked up one to examine it. I thought about keeping it as a souvenir but realized that it would easily break apart and would not keep. I’m not sure why I’m telling you this anyways. :)

The dorm that was taken over

I remember them shooting a scene with the coach where he barks out a few commands in front of the dorm and then zooms off in his golf buggy. It was a few years before I realized that this was John Goodman.

John Goodman

Guys from the dorm went down one night to the fake fair that the movie crew had built. Unfortunately a few of us already had too much and one of us decided it would be a good idea to try and steal a stuffed animal off of the display of a fake game. He almost managed to bring down the game in the attempt to remove the animal. The security guards noticed and soon he was running with said stuffed animal down the street back towards the dorm. The police busted him about one quarter of the way back. I didn’t see this happen since he had run pretty fast. I seem to remember that we had dared him to do it and couldn’t believe he had actually done it.

The police let him go after the movie group decided not to press charges. In fact, the movie group was very generous about all crimes committed against it. As long as the culprits returned the items, they were not charged. There were several fraternity pranks pulled involving stealing lots of big props. I guess real life was trying to match the level of what the movie would show. It seemed the fraternities were testing their pledge classes with more and more brazen attempts. All of us at the university would read about it in the school newspaper the next week. The most brazen was perhaps stealing a banner that fit against the back of a football scoreboard at the main outdoor stadium. It was massive! It was meant to cover the U of A logos with its own “Adams College” version. It was returned but I never understand how they did it in the first place. It was so big and heavy that they would have needed crews of people to pull it off.

It’s hard to believe that “Nerds” was filmed so long ago. I can remember a few more bits based on what I heard from the students that worked as extras. The rumour was that the director was trying to replicate some of the same feeling as “Animal House” but with the twist of the nerds striking back. There were also many stories about the crew attempting to recreate party atmosphere by sponsoring free parties for the extras.Ending party

I haven’t seen the movie recently but whenever I see it, I have minor flashbacks to people and places I haven’t seen for years. It’s good to see old faces and places from time to time. As for the movie itself, I don’t think I can get very philosophical about it this time. Perhaps I’ll just say that nerds are people too. Oh, and nerds are more likely to bloom late. That’s more than I can say for my high school football captain. He peaked in high school. Last I saw him years ago he was working as a security guard at the local convention center in Tucson. That might be construed as being a bit mean when really that wasn’t what I intended. The point is that if you do your best too early, you are unlikely to succeed later in life. I think it has something to do with believing your own hype too much when really you need to continue to grow. Well, I guess I managed to get philosophical after all.

Nerd Fraternity
Oh, there is one thing this movie proves. If you are a nerd that bucks the system, you are likely to end up going out with the cheerleader. I wouldn’t have figured that. I guess that is the surprise ending.

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Life in the Same Day

A few films have crossed paths with places that I have lived. Two of them are fairly famous. Why not write a post about these movies with the hope that I might find some relevance? Wish me luck, but be rest assured that if you have something better to do, you better go do it now. I’m only going to include the first film in this post and save the second for another day.

The first film is Groundhog Day which was filmed in 1992. Most of the core scenes were shot in Woodstock, Illinois in or near the town square. The square is famous within the county area for its rustic feeling due to its being built in the late 1800′s. In the center of the square is a monument to the soldiers of the Civil War. In the film, they actually managed to hide it from view during the groundhog ceremony. The streets enclosing the square are cobblestone and many of the buildings are original. The Opera House and Courthouse are the most obvious landmarks besides the monument itself.

Jumping from the Opera House

I remember watching this film for the first time and being shocked to recognize landmarks. I wasn’t quite sure until I noticed a “Woodstock Jewellers” sign in the background that it was Woodstock. I was having my own version of deja vu.

We lived in Woodstock from around 1973 to 1978. Before that we lived in nearby Crystal Lake in the heart of suburbia. I’ve been getting more nostalgic as I get older for the places of my childhood. What made Woodstock so good is that we owned 5 acres out in the country on Fleming Road. It was perfect for kids and it was so easy to go on adventures just in the backyard.

The film itself was quite impressive with its use of reliving the same day over and over again. I thought the concept was well developed and Bill Murray nailed the aspects of people who are always seeking things without having any idea of how to deal with what they have already.

There is quite a following of this film and even today you will hear people mention it in context to work. There is a contingent of people showing up in Punxsutawney, PA hoping to find elements of Woodstock, Illinois.

This is quote from the article last year in the Washington Post:
Groundhog's Day The Borough of Punxsutawney has been celebrating Groundhog Day since 1886. But it’s only since the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day” that it has become Times Square for a day, attracting up to 35,000 people and emerging as the most famous town of its size since Mayberry.

Punxsutawney does have a dark secret, however. It is not, in fact, the small town from the movie that made it famous. That town is Woodstock, Ill., where “Groundhog Day” was filmed.

One of my favorite scenes is when Bill Murray steals the pickup truck and drives it to the quarry. He highjacks the groundhog and holds him up the the steering wheel as if he is driving. At one point he says “Don’t drive angry!” and for some reason that gets me almost every time.

Most people can relate to the feeling that we live the same day over and over again. That might explain why it is so popular and also has such staying power. If you read the article in Wikipedia about “Groundhog Day” you’ll get an idea of how influential this movie has been. Personally, I was surprised by how highly it was rated against other films of the last 20 years.

Personally, I find hope that there is a way out of the loop. In a way, “Groundhog Day” captured in part what life is about. You struggle, you fight, you plot, you wander, you steal (well hopefully not), you experiment, and you find a way out. If there is any point to this is that whatever you do not accept in life, there is a good chance that is the very thing you are supposed to be paying more attention to. Whatever you think you know, you must admit to yourself that you don’t always know what is best for yourself.

So now that have I have finished inserting the more philosophical part of this post, it is time to soon finish.

I have recently been talking with Marshall Goldsmith via email after first meeting during the post about “Kissing Your Way Up“. Marshall had written this great article about the epidemic of workers kissing up to their bosses and how the bosses don’t always realize that it is going on and what to do about it. I just wrote my own observations about his article and I would imagine that the link to his article triggered him to look at what I wrote. Anyways, Marshall is full of good advice about all kinds of things. He recently forwarded me a story from his own life. I’m not going to divulge it since I don’t know what Marshall plans to do with the story or even if it is already included in a book. What I will say is that this one story has instantly changed how I look at work and how life can be so much better because of it. The advice is so fundamentally simple and yet so powerful. Sorry I can’t say more just yet.

Marshall, here’s to you. A bit of extra illumination goes a long way.

Till we meet again…

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Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

Ten years of being in Australia! I can’t believe it. February 21, 1997 I arrived at the Brisbane Airport to be with my future wife. Such an adventure to leave South Florida behind and move to the land Down Under. I remember getting off the plane and thinking how hot it was. Even though I knew it was summer in Australia, I didn’t think it would be much different from South Florida in winter time. The flight itself was killer. I flew from Miami to LA to then hop through Sydney to eventually land in Brisbane. Based on layovers and flying, it took 24 hours to get into the car in Brisbane. Everything was out of sync with night being day and day into night. Seasons were flipped and it would take me almost a week to adjust.

It didn’t matter.

I was coming to Australia to meet my Australian girlfriend. The plan was to stay in Australia for 8 weeks and then go back to Florida. I never left based on that plan. In fact, I did not return to America until 1999. I stayed in Australia on a visitor’s visa until August and then started working then under a temporary resident visa. I was offered a job to stay with Citrix in April 1997 as a systems engineer but I declined. I started working as a systems engineer at a local reseller in Brisbane. I stayed there with that reseller until they went out of business in 1998. I then when to another reseller and stayed there until 1999 when I decided it was time to work for Citrix again. By that point Citrix had an office in Sydney (North Ryde) and there was development work in the Advanced Products Group. Being in Brisbane made this impossible before until the policy changed to allow remote workers for engineering.

I live near a small town in the country with 2 acres, 2 dogs, 3 great kids, and a lovely wife. I live a very lucky life.

I wanted to share some insights into Australia and Australians. First of all, their spirit is great. They are so proud to be Australians and yet they respect humility. Become too proud of yourself and you become a “tall poppy” and you deserve to be taken down a notch. They are willing to help you in a crunch and the common thought is that we are all in this together. The country contains roughly 20 million people and most of these people reside in or near capital cities throughout the states and territories. Canberra is the nation’s capital and due to a dispute between Melbourne and Sydney, it is in-between the two cities and essentially in the middle of nowhere. The culture of Australia is heavily entrenched in being surrounded by water. There is a strong beach culture and also an intense love of sports. I thought America loved sports but Australians have them beat. They might not have as many people but they make up for it in the true belief of the power of sports. If there is an event that has Australians competing, you can be guaranteed that there will be a contingent of Australian fans there as well. Look for the green and gold and the chants, and you will know.

There is so much I could say about Australia. Fortunately for you it is getting late and its time to shut down the house.

I call Australia home!

I love it here. I’m glad that the beauty of Australia is still mostly a secret. I hope that others don’t catch on too quickly. :)


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